2020 has been a struggle for a variety of reasons. I have to admit that I’m behind in all aspects of life. I’m still attending classes online, but at a slower pace. I opened a salon in February and a month later it was shut down with the rest of the state for a month. I thought I’d get more done with thirty days at home, but something gripped me that I can’t explain. The weight of having so many things on my plate made my wiring short circuit and at the end of the thirty days I had gotten nothing done at all. I’ve heard the old saying to take one bite of the elephant at a time, but apparently I was full and needed to digest before I could continue.
I feel for all the mothers that have had to try online homeschooling for their kids. I can hands down say that I’m the worst teacher. I don’t understand their math, and find that I confuse them more than help them. I know I’m not alone in this feeling. Why do they have so many steps to get an answer they could have done in 2 steps?
I feel penalized for being a working parent.
My boys are in different grades with different teachers and most of the time 3-4 teachers each with different platforms and assignments and links. Luckily, the last semester wasn’t graded, but now we are starting school online in a couple of weeks. I worry because I work long days and don’t know what the format will be yet. I don’t want my kids to run behind because I work full-time. I feel penalized for being a working parent. It’s not a good feeling.
My bucket tipped over.
Have you ever been to a water park where they have a bucket that fills with water and the kids play under it waiting for it to fill up and tip over? 2020 is the bucket and July has been the tipping point. I had an employee quit, my salon was burglarized and my grandmother was admitted into hospice care. I will discuss this topic at a later date, but let’s just say that my bucket tipped over.
I felt disconnected like I was standing on the outskirts watching my bucket dump everything out and I realized that this year hasn’t really given me much to look forward to. I’ve been in a “handle” mode. I don’t want to live like that, and I encourage anyone drowning in a sea of responsibility to dig deep and find an outlet. I’m lucky that mine is writing and reading. Thanks to these hobbies I will always have an escape.
Do you have any?
I look forward to touching base more often. Marrying Mars will be re-published with new cover and there are more manuscripts that I am dusting off and getting ready. You’ll be hearing more from me soon!